Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maxim-um expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about ‘me’.
In our early years, we get offended by what we believe people are thinking about us, In our middle years, we hopefully leaen not to care. In our later years, we discover that people weren’t really thinking about us anyway.
You are not affected emotionally by what takes place around you but by your interpretation of what happens, based on what you believe to be true. Emotions do not to rule your actions. Just because you experience negative emotions, such as anger, defensi-veness, fear, or rejection, doesn’t trap you into acting on them. We need to get rid of the unrealistic and outdated notion that feelings determine what we do. They do not. When we are freed from that myth, we discover that unplea-sant feelings are not simply trou-blesome they are informative. Feelings not only assist you in knowing your self, but they also give you the opportunity to be authentic and connect deeply with others. Learn to be aware of and accept your feelings. Then use them as a source of inform-ation for your growth.
When you take things personally, you unco-unsiously agree with what is said. You have let your ego rule you. You have fallen into the trap of ‘selfishness’. Realize that what people do and say is because of themselves, their programming, their condition, their beliefs. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE lives in their own reality. When you take it personally you erroueously assume that the other person lives in your world and has your beliefs. When you take it perso-nally, you have the need to be right and make the other person wrong. Do you want to be ‘right’ or do you want to be ‘happy’? Any suffering or blame you experience by feeling threatened by someone elses opinion is based on your ego. You are always at choice. Give it abreak.
People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.
It takes true grit to challenge your assumptions about what you believe to be true. Became an artist if possibility, refuse to accept the status quo. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone,, take risks, challenge your assumptions, recognize and break through fear, and imagine multiple possible futures. Seek clarifications before jumping to conclusions.
When you fall prey to taking it personally, you are giving your power away. When you let other people distress you , you are allowing them to dictate how you frel. You are consuming the poison they are giving you. If yoy act through love instead of fear and accept yourself you with attract people who will accept and love you for the way you are. Be comfortable with discomfort. Everyone resists external or inte-rnal change that takes them out of their comfort zone. Growth in all areas require you to do so.
Neuroscience tells us that our primitive brain is designed to notice the negative before the positive. Research suggests that many people waste 90 percent of their energy in a fruitless attempt to change the unchange-able. Many truly desire to trans-form their lives are often unable or unwilling to ackowledge what cannot be changed. This is not only a waste of time, but it is frustrating & exhausting. You can avoid this trap by learning to identify what can be changed and let go of the rest- quickly. Nobody can hurt me without my permission. If you can obsess on what others sat, you have way too much free time, on your hands. If you obsess, you are filling a void better filled with some productive activity. Refuse to waste your time. Fill your time with family or friends. Choose to do activities that bring you joy and require focus ie golf, tennis, writing, painting, museums, gardening, reading etc. No one is going to help you if you don’t help yourself.