Beauty is what attracts a man’s attention, other traits come later

I have been single for a while now. I quite enjoy being it. Contrary to popular belief, I haven’t spent any of my single time moaning and moping, desperately wishing I had a man. I have been going on spontaneous getaways, trying new things and enjoying all the flirting I can handle. However, I was thinking that I jumped back into the dating pool because, let’s face it, I am not getting any younger. I do want to get married some day and I don’t want to waste my prime years staving off any male attention. But I wanted to male sure that I was putting my best foot foward as I get back into the dating scene. I specifically wanted to revamp my physical appearance. Don’t get me wrong. It is not that I am not much to look at. However, I have always been a firm believer that when it comes to beauty, there is always room for improvement. I went online looking for pointers on how I can be more beautiful. Much to my dismay, most of the articles I read gave crackpot advise like ‘be kind’ and ‘have a sense of humour’. Don’t get me wrong, being kind and having a great sense of humour are important when trying to score a man but let’s be real. A man is not going to look at my online dating profile picture and think “damn, she is so kind!” Or “she’s got a great sense of humour!” A man is not going to be sizing me up from across the bar thinking, “wow, she has got such great character.” I do believe that I am humble, I have got a great sense of humour and a good character, but I know that while these qualities might help me keep the attention of a man, they are virtually useless when it comes to helping me get the attention of one. For that, I need actual desirable physical qualities like a pretty face and a banging body, but it seems like we are not ready for that conversation. I am all for the importance of what is inside us, but let us not kid ourselves: Physical beauty attracts love. Looks matter and we could all improve on our looks even if just a little bit. Like I said, I know that beauty is not the end-all of qualities in a woman but I think we are doing ourselves a great disservice by using beauty as an umbrella term to include wider, deeper traits like kindness and sense of humour.

When people ask for advise on how to become more beautiful, why is it so hard to give them blunt, practical advice like ‘lose some weight’ or ‘try to get clear skin’? Instead, well tell them to be kind and work on their personality. I know what some of you are thinking: “beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can have acne and be fat and some people would still find you physically attractive.” You can shout that beauty is in the eye of the beholder till kingdom come but people are surprisingly consistent in their deduction of what is beautiful and what is not. What’s so wrong about trying where we can into fitting into those standards instead of deluding ourselves into believing that beauty is kindneas and sense of humour?


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