We wonder if Kenyans still consider baldness a sign of riches to come, if the number of people with vipara and living 100 metres below the poverty line is any hairy indicator to go by. While in years gone by men went bald when in their 60’s, today, going bald comes as early as late 20s. Barbers and hair specialist are doing a roaring business battling the balding crisis.
Here are 10 types of vipara you will come across in the country:
1. The bulb
This is where the hair covers every part of the head apart from the front, forming what apoears likef a dimmed bulb from the forehead to the middle of the head. This is normally spotted on senior citizens as younger men tend to hide it by shaving ‘Jordan’ hairstyle.
There were those shorts fashionable in the 1980s when retired President Moi was still a tenant at State House. These shorts had patches like a car’s tail lights. They were called kiraka. A black pair of shorts could have red patches at the back. The kiraka kipara is such that the hair disappears at a spot below the nape, such that if the owner walks ahead of you on a sunny day, you can see sharp reflection of light from the spot to heaven.
3. The river between
The ‘Rift Valley’ baldhead features a strip from the forehead to that spot your local barber usually makes a cut at thr nape. Likr a river, water can easily stream on the path as there’s completely no hair on it.
4. The G-string
One person, or rather one head, can have two spot of baldness. One in front-like bulb, the other one at the back; on the kiraka spot, with a thin string of hair separating them across the ears. Those standing on the sides never see the baldness, but people at the front of your back can clearly see the shiny surface.
5. The plateu
A plateau is an extensice land arwa having a relatively level surface raised above adjacent land. Plateau baldness means there’s hae around the head but none at the roof of the head. You would think God wanted to create a runway!
6. Chini ya maji
Chini ya maji baldness is when you have no hair at all. Most people visit the harber to remove any traces of hair which could be hanging on the head hopelessly. By taking down everything, you put an impression that you simply like your hair down, when in real sense, hakuna kitu hapo…ni kucheza chini!
7. The arc
This is when hair is no one side of the head; either in front or at the back, thereby splitting the head into two halves like an eclipse or rather like day (without hair) and night( with hair). You would confuse a head with a pumpkin cut in the middle!
8. The wedge
Here, the ages of the forehead are sharply indented inward with no hair. Guys trim it at the barber to confuse you with a nice cut.
This is an interesting one. It’s when there are spots of badness all over the head. Ni kama mashilingi on the head. Guys with this kind of baldness are therefore compelled to shave their heads all the times so as to do away with the annoying sparkling marks.
10. The mohawk
Like a mohawk, this is where the baldness has eaten the hair all round the head, leaving a patch of hair in the middle. A youthful baldheaf would want to style the remaining heap of hair to appear as if it’s some swag, but if you know, you know.